What's at stake with a Mistake

Samples in plain sight for all to see,
examples of how not to be,
Using the wrong tools for the right work,
All stupidity I should have rather shirked,
How could I avoid a mistake in the first place?
Good and bad were so well interlaced ,
So many slight actions, slight signs, slight words,
Hello! Something's wrong here!
I always find myself being nice,
then I look back and say, I should have thought twice,
work-analyse-regret and again work-analyse-regret,
Seems like a chain of actions that repeats itself, and then I fret and forget,
I can see a pattern emerging here,
It is replete with passiveness and fear,
although there is a superhuman within,
I fail to feed it and it grows thin,
Took a chance on something and someone that seemed remotely worthwhile,
I took to heart, useless feeedback ,with a forced smile.

Didn't know where to run, didn't know where to hide
I saw smiling faces all around me, yet I sensed that there was going to be a landslide,
I needed to break this cycle before it broke me
I had to open my untrained eyes to finally see.
There are people and things to be avoided,
This is my new stand, I decided;
I needed to ask myself, what is the result of my decision, my act,
Even though I unconsciously and temporarily accepted certain disturbing facts
They were going to come back and haunt me even though I didn't keep track.
If I didnt take control today, the worm could have turned into a monster, tomorrow.
At first, all seemed fine, I needed to watch out for prospective sorrow.
One thing good about sorrow is that it fuels my creativity.
I wish that one day, I would have visited every city.
That's me rambling again - flitting from dream to dream,
No nightmares or else I'll scream!

Now, I need to see an innocent happy circumstance,
that allows me to be myself and freely dance,
If I had an opportunity to tell you my story,
I'd do that to help you, and not fish for my own glory,
There is a constant stirring search for peace within myself,
Hope the Almighty finds within me a garden and not an empty shelf!
When I'm confused, I take a look around at the happy people,
See them moving at every corner and at every steeple,
I catch some of their happiness when I feel empty,
and then suddenly for me there is interest in life, a plenty,
Sometimes, complex things are not avoided,
I find they must be ironed out and creatively treated,
When a complication is made simple, positive space is created,
Check what's here, work fast, how do I push myself to the next level?
Bad or good, now, the end result is mostly disheveled
This poem might not have a logical nice, happy conclusion,
In your mind, I don't want to create a silly illusion.
Let it be as it is, a work in progress,
Maybe, some day I'll look back at it and say that things worked out for the best!